Confused

I don't know what to feel anymore. I don't know how to feel. You'll excuse me if by the end of this post you feel offended, hurt, attacked or something like that, but at this time I cannot afford to care about pleasing anyone's delicate sensibilities. I am speaking from the heart, and my heart is pretty messed up.

I am supposed to visit around 15 American universities from September to November as part of the team going for iDebate Rwanda's 3rd annual US Tour. This tour, the US Tour is supposed to be a journey. A journey in which we will share our story, a story of rebirth, a story of reconstruction, a story of how a group of youngsters is working to move past the adversity of their parents' generation and the terrible tragedy that arose from it. A story of how we are contributing to building a nation in which we and the generations after us are judged by the content of our character and not the ethnic group we were born in. This tour is supposed to be a journey in which we can inspire those with whom we interact to see our way, to do the same.

Lord knows how excited I was in January when I was selected. Lord knows the enthusiasm, the sheer joy, the anticipation that was bubbling in me these past months. And Lord knows, how in the space of 12 days all my hopes are now shattered. Lord knows, how confused and stricken I feel as I write this.

On June 26, I watched Jesse Williams deliver his moving speech denouncing racial inequality and police brutality as he accepted the Humanitarian Award, a speech in which he mentioned it would've been Tamir Rice's 14th birthday the previous day. The next day a petition was created to fire him from Grey's Anatomy, which now has 23,000 supporters. Part of the petition reads "Jesse Williams spewed a racist, hate speech against law enforcement and white people at the BET awards. If this was a white person making the same speech about an African American, they would have been fired and globally chastised, as they should be, but there have been no consequences to Williams' actions."

Barely a week later, Jesse has been proven right.

Now to the 4500 idiots who petitioned to have him fired from Grey's Anatomy, do you see his point??https://t.co/BPQ8HDbjmI

— Mwene Murangira (@IntwaliBruce) July 7, 2016

On July 5, Alton Sterling was shot 5 times in the chest and back after having been pinned on the ground by two cops. On July 6, Philando Castile was shot by a cop four times in the driver side of his car, with his girlfriend in the passenger seat and her daughter watching from the backseat. He died from his wounds later. And as always, a whole legion of people is now defending both homicides. In Alton's case, criminal records have been pulled out, people countlessly repeating that he had threatened someone earlier, that he was carrying a gun (in an open-carry state, hmm!). But is that the point though, because from my perspective, the point is that he had been subdued. The point is that two videos amply show he wasn't reaching for his gun which an officer pulled from his pocket after he was shot. The point is that he was shot at as close a range as close range can get and the officer had multiple choices of non-fatal places to shoot at, the arms for example. The point is that he chose to point the gun at the chest and shoot twice, wait a few seconds, then shoot again three times. And what of Castile? is the point that he had a gun? Or that he was reaching for his pockets? Or is the point that he had informed the cop that he WAS carrying a gun (for which he had a permit by the way) and that he wanted to retrieve his ID, which the officer had just asked?

This tour is supposed to be about teaching and learning. But how do you talk to someone who doesn't want to listen, how do you teach someone who doesn't want learn? How am I supposed to feel when a petition to fire someone for pointing out the very same things that happened in the last three days has increased in supporters from 23,216 when I started writing this post to 23,262 in the minutes it took me to write these lines? What is the purpose of me going, if it will all have been in vain?

There is no lesson or moral to this post, those are for you to find or not. I am just pouring my heart out. I am crying for those lost souls. And if you are asking yourself why two dead African-Americans would matter so much to an African, ask yourself what prompted you to be Charlie, to pray for Paris, and to cry for Brussels.

Can You Hear Me Cry

Can you hear me cry?

A question that nags at me

Every night and day 

As I sleep and wake, oh wait!

I don't do that anymore.

Can you hear me cry?

A question that torments my mind

Whose answer I cannot find

Because there's none to be found

Because apparently, you do,

And apparently, you don't.

Do you feel my pain 

When my sons and daughters,

My treasure and gold

Are slaughtered and maimed like in the days of old?

Do you feel my sorrow

When you turn my predicament into a trend

To like, and repost 

To share and retweet

And go on with your life 

Like nothing happened

Yes! Like nothing happened

See, you...see them floating down rivers

You see them thrown into pits

You see them lying in the streets

But it doesn't get to you, does it?

Coz let's face it, TIA

This Is Africa

It also happened in our countries at one point

Didn't it?

So we scroll past their pictures

And we feel more pity for Paris

Hell, we declare national mourning days for Charlie

Has anyone heard of a mourning day for December 12th?

My name is Burundi

And today I'm calling on you

To not care for my orphans 

But to stop them from becoming orphans

To not rebuild my shattered self

But to protect what I've accomplished myself

To not let 'Never again'

Turn into 'Again and Again'

My name is Burundi

And this is not a poem

This is a cry for help

#iStandForBurundi

On a personal note:

1. Bad things happen when good men do nothing (Martin Luther King)

2. Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter (Martin Luther King)

3. The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis (Dante: The Divine Comedy)

Call To Arms

NB: This is a reblog

These words can be interpreted in many different ways but they all usually converge in an invitation to prepare for confrontation.

Today, I raise my voice and let out one such a call together with the people of Burundi, a nation at the heart of Africa, (Africa’s very own ventricle to be precise) and more so a nation in the heart of those of us who see the atrocities happening there every day. For too long now, young and old alike have been victims of unrest, violence, and massacres that have resulted from political tensions in the nation.

I raise my voice in the name of Bujumbura’s sons and daughters whose lives have been cut short and those whose tomorrow is more unsure than ever. I raise my voice to call you all to join me in confronting the status quo.

In times like these, when all we hear and see is bad news, in times when the headlines start sounding normal, the world tends to divide itself into two schools: the dreamers and the realists. There are those of us who will chant “We are the world” and tell ourselves something can be done for a better tomorrow and those of us who will be more skeptical and spend more time asking ourselves what difference our input can truly make in the face of such evil grandeur.

Today, while many of us are trying to find the label that fits best on what is going in Burundi, and while we are trying to find what best defines the situation in Bujumbura many lives are being lost. While we are trying to understand what is going on, the victims of these inhumane acts are trying to understand what is happening to them as well. So to those of you wondering what in the world you can do to make a difference here is a starting point:

You can start by acknowledging what is happening and maybe sharing it with someone one and striking the conversation. When I say sharing I don’t necessarily mean shocking. I don’t necessarily mean spreading the image of the conflict in all its graphic nature, courtesy of the era of technology we live in like I have been seeing on Facebook but the need for many to use such means only accentuates the desperation behind the situation. I understand you may not be able to look through those post but talk about what is happening through your own medium and let the world know that you do not stand with injustice wherever it is being carried out. (If by now you still have no idea what I am talking about, please take a minute and look up what is happening in Burundi. Viewer’s discretion may be advised given the explicitness of some pictures I see around sometimes). My point here is though, while you might not see what you can do to make a difference, someone in your circle may or someone in their circle may. No single individual may make a difference but maybe collectively we can give Burundi the peace of mind she’s been seeking and her children the break they’ve longed for.

So, Call To Arms is addressed to everyone out there who receives this. What can you do to add on to the growing movement for the support of Burundi? How will you fight the widespread mindset that when evil abounds in the world, there is nothing we can do about it? I choose to call onto all those who are ready to confront this ideology and hope that everyone in their way will call onto more. To those who ask me what I hope to achieve by just raising my against an evil that has persisted in the face of many before me, my response is that I stand to achieve more than I would, by sitting back indifferent to what I see.

In the midst of all the darkness and painful realities of today, I do not want to compete with Paris, San Bernadino, Syria, Bamako and Tunis for the spotlight. On the contrary, let's share it and shine it onto the darkness that freely roams around our homes.

When you hear me saying Pray for Burundi, I am not asking you to stop praying for Paris or Syria nor am I rallying up forces for a larger ‘campaign’ than yours. No! I am instead saying, let’s pray for Paris, pray for Syria, pray for Bamako, pray for Tunis, pray for San Bernadino, pray for Burundi and pray for everyone that needs it out there but then again let's raise our voices and pray out loud if that’s what it takes.

A LETTER TO THE ELDERS

I've heard it called many names

It's called The Divide, the  Rift

The 'Generation Conflict'

It's the new Cold War

A war whose victims are often labeled as initiators

A war whose victims' pain is often dismissed as tantrums

I've seen the damage that's being done

And became convinced it's time

Someone said 'Enough is enough'

Whatever happened to 'Lead by Example?'

Or maybe it's because you do?

You wonder why your boys walk around with colts

When they grow up watching Boyz N the Hood

And violence is glamorized by Hollywood, Bollywood, Nollywood, Hillywood and a few other "Woods"?

You wonder how they got to rehab when you were never around

And the only 'real talk' they got

Was with their homies, smoking pot

Should you call your kids sluts

When you've legalized pornography?

When you teach them 'safe sex'

And cast aside chastity

And the pride in virginity?

Should you blame your daughters

For their early pregnancy when you've made sure

They can go for abortion

Or give the child up for adoption?

Would you sit back and consider for a moment

That maybe, just maybe, you've been doing things wrong?

Would you come down from your high places

And realize we're not that different

That this conflict's been going on for ages

And you were once part of it

Coz I'm pretty sure your parents weren't fans

Of the moonwalk

I'm sure they didn't appreciate you buying

That Walkman

And I'll bet my lunch they wished

They'd killed the nigga who got the guts

To create disco.

So again

Would you come down from your high places

And realize we're not that different

Coz if you look more closely, Y'all didn't turn out fine.

You too got drunkards and crack addicts

You too got criminals and gang members

Isn't it high time you changed the strategy

And adopted one that guarantees synergy?

How about you educate and not just teach us

How about you mentor and not just preach us

How about you guide and not just command us

How about, instead of frowning on us

For not reaching up as high as you,

You come down and show us how?

Dear Elders,

Please understand I address myself to you

Not as the typical angry millennial

Looking to undermine your authority

But simply as someone who believes

That even the best of us sometimes

Need to be reminded of how best

To do things

Yours truly,

Why Debate?

It is a lovely, sunny Saturday morning as I walk through the gates of IFAK Secondary school. I'm on my way to a debate competition as I always do once a month. And as always, my level of excitement and expectation is at its highest. As I enter the school premises, I find myself surrounded by a throng of students from over 25 high schools in and around Kigali; some chitchatting after a month of not seeing each other, some buried away in books, laptops, and cellphones doing a last minute research. In a few minutes, we gather in a hall where one of the competition coordinators repeats the boring rules and regulations of the day(boring because virtually everyone in the room has been debating for some time now and would repeat them in his sleep). Then round pairings are announced, classrooms and judges assigned and I walk to my own room to judge.

In judging mode

The day's motion is whether or not Rwanda should adopt the East African treaty through a Common Market, a Monetary Union, and a Political Federation. As I judge, it gets harder and harder to know where I myself am standing. I'm in awe at the amount of research these students have done and the statistics they throw at each other. Further along the debate, I realize that one of the debaters from Agahozo Shalom has actually read the WHOLE treaty. The Proposition speaker presents an outstanding five-year action plan to achieve the goals outlined in the topic. These include a gradual economic convergence policy and a rotating cycle for the presidency of the Federation. The rebuttal from the opposition is no less amazing: the speaker gives GDP per capita, aid reliance and inflation statistics proving East African economies are so disparate that convergence in only five years is so unlikely; effectively stating it took the significantly more advanced European economies 30 years to achieve a semblance of convergence. He then goes on to explain that for a Federation to be effective, people need to let go of their national identities in favor of an East African one, and that this will be a very difficult task since ethnic and local identities are more prevalent in some of the member countries.

Debater from Agahozo Shalom

I have been working with iDebate for three years now, first as a debater when I myself was a student, and now as a volunteer. This Non-Governmental Organisation was started back in 2012 by three young Rwandans with the aim of changing the Rwandan society -particularly the youth- through the art of debate. Since then their range of activities has greatly expanded, from just a monthly debate with 15 schools to debate camps attended by more than 250 kids, US tours where they build partnerships with American universities and annual East African debate championships. And when I look at the progress that has been made, the change in attitude, the confidence build up, the critical thinking and public speaking skills that these students have acquired I can't help but feel, more strongly than ever, that debate is one of the best ways towards the reconstruction and development of the people of Rwanda. Why do I say that, you might ask?

Roughly 22 years ago, people in Rwanda who were educated-ministry clerks, hospital nurses, businessmen and such -people who were considered intellectuals- scrambled to the windows of their cars and buses to check out RPF soldiers on their way to Parliament Building and see the horns and tails they’d been led to believe the latter had. This kind of propaganda, and the population’s predisposition to believe it are one of the key elements that led to the irrational phobia and hatred that culminated in Genocide of the Tutsi.

Now Debate teaches a person to not just swallow everything he/she is told. Debate teaches the person to think critically, to analyze rationally and to look for the truth in a statement. It teaches the person to question the surroundings and identify the problems in the status quo; which is the first step towards solving them. A citizen like this one is the kind of citizen our Rwanda needs. And these are the citizens of the future that are being nurtured with debate, through the work of organizations such as iDebate Rwanda. Citizens who won't just believe whatever they're told just because it is their parents or the radio saying it. Citizens who won't sit idly by as things go south but will stand up and fight for what is right with their words, with their pens and if necessary, with their arms. And as I watch the winning team and the best speakers walk up to the stage to receive their trophies on this sunny Saturday afternoon, these are the citizens I see all around me.

LA VIE

La Vie

Qu’est-ce que la vie?

Ce mot précieux qu’on chante

Qu’on raconte et qu’on respire

Qu’on joue avec dans nos paroles

Mais sans conscience de sa portée

Je me demande: qu’est la vie?

Je regarde ces enfants qui pleurent

De faim mais ne peuvent manger

Tant leur estomac est habitué au vide

Et je me demande: qu’est la vie?

Je vois des hommes qui se meurent

Lentement, lentement d’une mort sans fin

Dorment à même le sol à coté des somptueuses

Demeures

Je les vois grignoter les restes de grands riches de la terre

Tels des chiens qui vivent de la charité de leurs maîtres

Et je me demande: Est-ce ça vivre ?

Je regarde cette mère qui se casse le dos

A travailler dur pour pouvoir chausser ses gosses

Pendant que le mari s’offre une bière

Et commente la Premier League

Je la vois bosser du matin au soir

Et c’est à peine si à la fin du mois

Il lui reste assez pour une miche de pain

Est-ce ça vivre ou bien survivre ?

Le chaos règne,la douleur est reine

Ici et là les hommes tuent les hommes

A cause d’un nez trop long

Ou d’une peau trop noire

Ils tuent à coups de balles

Ils tuent à coups de machette

Ils tuent au nom de religion

Ils tuent au nom de liberté

Mais ils tuent quand même

Ils tuent

Les cadavres jonchent les rues

Cris et pleurs remplissent les villes

Et en regardant ces images sur nos écrans

On s’exclame: Oh quelle horreur!

Mais notre indignation s’arrête là

Et pendant que ces atrocités font rage

D’autres s’affairent à compter

Les bénéfices de la vente de leurs armes

Comme quoi l’homme est un loup pour l’homme

Et au milieu de ces tragédies et malheurs

On continue de croiser les bras

Victimes d’un fatalisme irraisonné

Et d’une foi trop erronée

Victimes consentantes d’un monde cruel

Résignés à vivre dans la panique et la peur

Mais je refuse

Je refuse de m’abaisser devant les circonstances

De me dire que ce qui fut, fut.

De me dire que ce qui sera, sera.

De me dire que j’y peux rien

et que mieux vaut laisser les choses aller de leur train

Je refuse de croire en un Dieu qui nous aurait créé

Pour nous voir souffrir

Je refuse de croire en un destin de malheur

forgé d’avance

Je ferme les yeux très fort

Et comme Henley, m’obstine à croire

Que je suis le maitre de mon destin

Que je suis le capitaine de mon âme

Je ne sais ce que me réserve le sort

Mais je choisis d'être et de rester sans peur

Je choisis de me lever

Je choisis de parler

Je choisis de prêcher sans relache

Qu'il n'y a que Moi, que Toi, que Nous

Who can create a new world

Un monde libéré des chaines du Moi

Un monde où Arabe et Européen

Musulman et Chretien

Blanc ou Noir

Vivront comme des frères

Car nous sommes tous humains...

Humains aux mêmes rêves

que nous batirons ensemble

Humains aux mêmes peurs

que nous combattrons ensemble

Ouvre ta main....

Regarde-la.....

Profondement....

Ce monde est là!

Voices from a Post-Genocide Generation

I was recently asked to share my perspective on how the 1994 genocide against the Tutsi is affecting many post-Genocide Rwandan youngsters.At first, I didn't know where to begin but then I decided to take my own experience as a base, so here goes.

I recall the first time I came face to face with the issue of Genocide. I watched images of mutilated bodies being carried by the Akagera river and thrown over the Rusumo falls to continue into Lake Victoria.Funnily, in my 4-year-old mind, I don't know where I fetched the idea that those were crocodiles.

Shortly thereafter I started learning about it in school but it wasn't until my 14th year (2009) that I really started to understand the reality and the horrific impact of the Genocide in the Rwandan society. As a member of AERG (a Genocide Survivor Students Association) and studying in a boarding school, I came across fellow youngsters who had grown up without knowing their parents who were victims of the Genocide. Others were so shaken by the horrors they had witnessed that their nights were just a long succession of nightmares. At various memorial events, I saw kids affected by trauma, and rightly so. How can you not when you are staring at hundreds of skulls and bones smashed to bits, when you look at those empty eye sockets and seem to catch a last expression of horror in them as they saw their death coming; when you read thousands upon thousands of names on a wall and you understand that every last one of them had a life, dreams, aspirations, and hopes for a future they were never to know as their lives were put an end to in an instant by the blow of a club, or a bullet to the heart, or a machete tearing through the flesh? How can you no be traumatized when you try with all your might to think it is all just a bad dream but your heart keeps telling you it is damn real?

After such encounters with the past, I saw kids letting so much anger, hatred and resentment build up inside them that they couldn't bear to sit with a Hutu kid they had shared everything with just days before.I gotta confess this happened to me too. I watched others become so ashamed of their parents' sins that they chose to live in denial or considered themselves at the bottom of the social order.

So when you ask me if the post-Genocide generation is dealing with the consequences of the Genocide; well yes it is.Very much. And it's not just that. Think of all the kids born in the jungles of the Congo and raised to become fighters of the FDLR in a war whose origins and reasons they hardly know the truth of (if they do at all). Think of the youth across the world whose opinion is being misled by so-called political refugees who only chose exile as a better alternative than facing justice for their crimes.

But another thing I came to learn was that if knowing one's history is absolutely necessary, we should also avoid being enslaved by it because then we're bound to make the same mistakes again or make new ones that are even worse. I understood the necessity of saying "Sorry" and the importance of forgiving if we are all to go forward and rebuild a better, stronger nation; risen from its ashes, having learned from its mistakes.